Below is an unedited excerpt of today’s White House press briefing by Tony Snow (as created by the Huffington Post’s Robert Dreyfuss):
Q. There’s a controversy this week over Congressman John Murtha’s comments about Karl Rove. What can you tell us? Specifically, does Mr. Rove have a “fat backside”?
Snow: I don’t want to comment on the anatomical aspects of White House staff.
Q. Come on, Tony, It’s just a factual question. Is his backside fat, or not?
Snow: Again, I don’t think the question is appropriate.
Q. Well, how would you describe his backside?
Snow: Mr. Rove’s posterior is rotund.
Q. Well, isn’t rotund the same as fat?
Snow: I’ll leave it you in the press to parse the meaning of those words. I’m only authorized to say, his posterior is rotund.
Q. Another member of Congress, speaking of Patrick Fitzgerald’s investigation of the Valerie Plame affair and Rove’s role in that, said, and I quote, “Fitzgerald should have indicted his ass.” Doesn’t that make his backside relevant?
Snow: I don’t see whether the size of his backside has anything to do with whether his ass ought to have been indicted or not. It’s irrelevant.
Q. Well, the size is important. It’s relevant to how big the target is.
Snow: If that’s true, you’ve answered your own question. If the target was so big, if his “ass” is “fat,” as you and Mr. Murtha insist, then Fitzgerald ought to have been able to hit it. But Mr. Rove was told he is a not a target of the investigation.
Q. So you’re saying, Fitzgerald can’t even hit Rove’s big fat ass?
Snow: As I said, I’m commenting on whether his backside is fat, or not. I’m just saying, if it were, and you seem to be insisting that it is, then Fitzgerald really missed a big fat target, didn’t he?