Anyone who thinks that Americans have yet to embrace the beautiful game of soccer and are basically ignoring the World Cup should check out the blogosphere.
We already know, via the New York Observer and Slate respectively, that Jews and intellectuals are spending this month transfixed in front of their television screens — but who would have guessed about the bloggers?
Maybe we’re generalizing just a bit, but just look at the enthusiasm of one Captain Cold One: “Wow. My job is great. As I work in the morning I have [this] on in the background. 9am-World Cup. 11am-Price is Right. 12pm-more World Cup. Ole! Ole! Ole! …………. Ole! Indeed.” Can there be a more perfect merging of American Protestant work ethic with European love of a meditatively slower-paced sport?
There is of course much speculation about whether Americans are willing to accept fútbol into the pantheon of watched sporting events. Or, as Michael Malone puts it, “[I]s soccer winning over Joe Sixpack, sitting on his couch in his oversized Peyton Manning jersey, engorging himself on the hockey and/or NBA finals (not to mention fistfuls of Chicken Kickers from Dominos)? Does Joe realize that a 1-1 draw, such as U.S./Italy from Saturday, can be one of the most intense sporting encounters he’ll ever witness? Probably not. Discussing that match with someone who won’t be named, that someone (Hey Dad!) seemed proud to report he had not, in fact, watched the game. ‘I heard it was 1-1,’ he sneered, full of soccer-is-boring indignation, before adding, ‘Hey, did you watch the U.S. Open?'”
“There you have it,” says Malone. “Soccer is dull. Golf, on the other hand — now that’s exciting!”
Besides the low goal count, chief among the reasons why Americans might not dig the sport is the sometimes over-the-top reactions of players to injuries. We are a tough people, us Americans, and we only want to see you cry if you get really, really hurt. At In the Shadow of the Almighty, a blogger pins it down. Americans don’t like soccer because “in American sports you bleed. In American sports you’re tough. In American sports you aren’t falling down left and right and crying because someone bumps into you. I get so tired of seeing these guys act like they are getting shot and having to bring out a stretcher for EVERY STINKING THING. Did you see what happened to Brian McBride for the American squad versus Italy? He had blood gushing from his face, he leaves for like 2 minutes, stops the bleeding and goes back in the game. Now that is what I’m talking about. For the love, guys, suck it up. Quit acting like a bunch of little 5-year-old kids on the playground.”
But, hey, arguing with the ref and the players means at least these bloggers care. They’re watching, at least.
Sad to say, but most of our fellow citizens probably are more in line with this post over at Chompy Sings the Blues: “I’m a dumb American. I don’t know anything about soccer (fútbol). I have nothing against it — I don’t roll my eyes when people talk about it but I just can’t get into it. Do they even have plays in soccer? Or are they just running around with a general idea of what they’re supposed to do in their position?”
Oy. Or is it “Ole!”
Gal Beckerman is a former staff writer at CJR and a writer and editor for the New York Times Book Review.