Racists, Nazis and Lawyers - Oh My

There’s been a lot of talk in the ‘sphere about The Conservative Brotherhood, a group of conservative African-American bloggers. But not everyone’s a fan. At Wizbang, one commenter wrote, “Why do folks continue to think that their race is all that important to their opinions? Liberals have been destroying the melting pot for years, insisting that we celebrate physical traits they call ‘diversity.’ Why would conservatives join them in diminishing the importance of each individual?”

The comments irritated brotherhood member Samantha Pierce. “Predictably some folk don’t like it. We’re racist, uncle toms, and what not for getting to together to share common ideas and goals. Whatever. That hood rat un-Christian part of my personality just rolled her eyes, sucked her teeth, and said bite me.” Baldilocks links to the Scottish Society, Italian American Writers Association, and the Midwest Federation of American Syrian-Lebanese Clubs Inc. and wonders if critics calling the Conservative Brotherhood racist consider those groups to be as well, adding, “Some people get nervous when too many blacks gather in one place.”

Dave Pell, meanwhile, has his sights set on Tony Blankley, claiming that “Blankley and several other similarly minded nutjobs were suffering from a severe Nazi fetish.” Blankley’s crimes, according to Pell? He “compared the Schiavo case to the medical punishments doled out by torturers at the concentration camps,” “described George Soros as ‘a Jew who figured out a way to survive the Holocaust,’” — he didn’t mean that as a compliment — and plugged a Washington Times editorial Pell takes issue with. Here’s one section of the editorial:

There aren’t many border-control success stories these days, but Arizona’s Minuteman Project is quickly becoming one. For observers wondering how average Americans can contribute meaningfully to homeland security, the Minutemen are becoming something of a model. If a comparison to Britain’s World War II civilian spotters seems far-fetched — the spotters were private citizens, often over the age to serve in the military, who watched for Nazi planes and helped British forces score some considerable successes — the difference is one of circumstance. That’s something for President Bush and the open-borders crowd to think about.

And here’s Pell:

So let’s make sure we understand the metaphor here. If the Arizona Minutemen are the British spotters, then that makes the Mexicans — who are risking their lives so they can work in American fields and kitchens for a few bucks an hour so they can send a little dough to the relatives back home — the Nazis.

He adds: “Not every event or political debate in human history has a side that qualifies as the Nazis. It’s really time to drop the comparisons. It’s idiotic from the extreme left or the extreme right. And it’s time to stop glorifying morons like Blankley on the television airwaves just because he takes an extreme position on every topic.”

Finally, we turn to Rich Kyanka of Something Awful, who posts his hilarious email exchange with the PR man for former WWF wrestler turned conservative political commentator The Ultimate Warrior. Chris Lewis, Warrior’s flack, threatened to sue Something Awful for referring to Warrior as a “racist,” but Kyanka wouldn’t remove the offending post, citing his First Amendment rights. The exchange escalated to the point where Lewis called Kyanka fat, wrote that he’d “already tracked down quite a bit of information about” him, called his father on the telephone, and warned him “you’re letting your mouth write checks that your body can’t possibly cash.” Kyanka’s response is pretty priceless:

I have noticed your awesome legal strategy has shifted from “threatening to sue for fictional claims” to “insulting my physique and commenting upon my rosy-red cheeks.” This is a very clever move on your part, as many legal issues have been resolved this way. Did you know that’s how the FBI captured Al Capone? It’s true; they sent him a letter talking about his “rosy-red cheeks” and then berated his arm size! …

Regardless, I am now aware of what a legal detective dynamo I am up against. You are not only able to call my relatives (using the phone, which I assume, you dialed by yourself), but you additionally copy and paste information that I write about on my public website! I shall forever remember this day as the day I messed with the wrong person (Chris Lewis), or “TDIMWTWP(CL)” for short.

It only gets better from there. Read the whole thing.

Brian Montopoli

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Brian Montopoli is a writer at CJR Daily.