(Paramount Pictures)

Yamaguchi-gumi, Japan’s largest yakuza crime syndicate, has published an official magazine that features satirical haikus and genteel articles about angling. In response, we present highlights from the Corleone family newsletter.

» Fine Dining: Clemenza shares his famous spaghetti-sauce recipe. Because you might have to cook for 20 guys some day.

» How to house-sit: for when you’ve gotta go to the mattresses

» Exclusive photos from Connie and Carlo’s wedding

» The Godfather’s gardening tips: getting tomatoes just right

» Special offer on cannoli at Pitelli’s bakery. Ask for Enzo.

Sponsored by Genco Pura Olive Oil Company: proud importers of Sicily’s finest olive oil.

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Edirin Oputu is a former assistant editor at CJR. Follow her on Twitter @EdirinOputu