With the nation, or at least its leaders, more polarized than we’ve seen in a while, The New York Times’ Week in Review section today decides to bring a little levity to the ongoing election party.

Noting that planning for the 2004 vice presidential debate is already under way, The Times proposes a list of tongue-in-cheek questions for the contenders to ask of one another. The Times being The Times, most of the hypothetical gibes fall flat, but we’ll give you a few that don’t.

Questions for Dick Cheney:

3. Over the past four years, how many days would you say you spent above ground?

9. If anything happened to you while serving a second term, would George Bush be fit to be president?

Questions for John Edwards:

3. Agree/disagree with the following statement: “Litigators are opportunistic leeches who are sucking the lifeblood from our nation’s economy.”

7. What’s your secret to remaining fully conscious when Senator Kerry is speaking?

We won’t give you the duds.

S.L.

Steve Lovelady was editor of CJR Daily.