—April 2004: Citigroup pays a record $400 million—twice as much as any other firm—to settle Eliot Spitzer’s charges over flawed, conflicted stock research that inflated the tech bubble and for giving CEOs it did business with preferential access to hot IPOs

— May 2004: Alan Greenspan’s (!) Federal Reserve gets a $70 million settlement out of Citigroup for predatory subprime lending

— September 2004: Japan kicks Citigroup private bank out of the country for overcharging customers and helping others make improper deals

— May 2005: Citi agrees to pay $208 million after the SEC says it defrauded mutual fund customers. The SEC makes Citi promise not to break the law it made Citi promise not to break again back in 2001

— May 2006: Citi agrees to pay $1.5 million after the SEC says it and other banks manipulated bond markets. The SEC makes Citi promise not to break the law it made Citi promise not to break again back in 2001 and 2005

— 2000-2007: Citigroup helps inflate the housing bubble with some $140 billion in collateralized debt obligations. It hands out $26 billion in subprime loans to consumers in 2005-2007

— July 2007: CEO Charles Prince tells the Financial Times that “As long as the music is playing, you’ve got to get up and dance.” Citigroup underwrites $50 billion worth of CDOs that year—more than any other bank

— November 2007: Prince is forced out after Citi announces it will write down up to $11 billion in toxic mortgage assets. Citi will ultimately take more than $30 billion in losses

— August 2008: Citi agrees to pay $18 million in a California settlement after it “knowingly stole from its customers, mostly poor people and the recently deceased,” in the words of California Attorney General Jerry Brown, by sweeping overpayments from their accounts into Citi’s fund and firing a whistleblower who complained

— October 2008: Citigroup gets bailed out for the first time (in this crisis, anyway), with $25 billion in TARP funds

—November 2008: Taxpayer rescue Citi from certain bankruptcy a second time with another $20 billion in taxpayer money and asset guarantees of some $300 billion

— December 2008: Citi agrees to repurchase $7 billion in auction-rate securities it sold with the SEC for telling investors they were safe when it knew they were deteriorating. The SEC makes Citi promise not to break the law it made Citi promise not to break again back in 2001, 2005, and 2006

— February 2009: The U.S. government announces its third Citi bailout in four months, and is now the largest shareholder in Citigroup, controlling more than a third of its shares

— April 2009: Citigroup shares fall to 97 cents a share, down 98 percent from the all-time high

— August 2009: Citi argues that its star energy trader should be exempted from bailout compensation restrictions and given a $100 million bonus

— 2010: Citi agrees to pay $75 million to settle SEC charges over misleading its investors at the start of the financial crisis about its subprime exposure, which it understated by $43 billion

— 2011: Citigroup pays $285 million for misleading investors on a toxic CDO deal one of its traders called “dogshit” and “possibly the best SHORT ever”

— 2012: Citigroup agrees to pay $2.2 billion to pay its portion of a settlement with the banking industry for the massive foreclosure scandal

— July 2012: Sandy Weill takes it all back, calling for investment banking to be separated from deposit taking—effectively reinstating Glass-Steagall he helped dismantle. His bad!

Phew!

As Citi’s narrator says in the video, “Our reputation rests on the integrity and dedication of those that came before us.”

* List of updates: I originally said Weill bought Salomon Smith Barney in 1993. Smith Barney combined with Salomon in 1998. I added Mitchell’s tax evasion settlement in the 1933 item (h/t Mark Gimein). I added Sandy Weill’s astonishing support for breaking up the too big to fail banks.

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Ryan Chittum is a former Wall Street Journal reporter, and deputy editor of The Audit, CJR's business section. If you see notable business journalism, give him a heads-up at rc2538@columbia.edu. Follow him on Twitter at @ryanchittum.