As the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times first reported last night, United Airlines and Continental Airlines have begun talking about a possible merger.
But while the industry and airline passengers debate whether consolidation will prove beneficial, an early spate of reports clearly shows that when it comes to clunky, cliché-ridden journalistic prose, the would-be merger is already a resounding success.
“Airline merger rumors swirl,” said one headline on USA Today‘s homepage this afternoon. The link cut to an Associated Press article which began thus: “A flurry of confirmed and reported talks among airlines may signal merger mania within the struggling industry, though analysts question whether consolidation is a sure — or even a good — thing.” Taking the weather analogies to another level, one of the story’s sources, the chairman of the Business Travel Coalition, later warned of a possible “tsunami” of airline consolidation.
Elsewhere, various sources noted such consolidation was heating up, while in the Wall Street Journal “Airline-industry consolidation glided ahead Wednesday,” and the New York Times‘ DealBook warned of turbulence, writing “Fasten your seatbelts: Deal discussions in the airline industry are moving into high gear.”
In the world of headlines, Bloomberg News came up with this winner: “United Air, Continental in Merger Talks, People Say,” a devolution of an earlier variation attributing the talks to newspapers. (Perhaps what “People Say” is more important than what “Newspapers Say.”)
But the best writers had love on their minds, such as CNNMoney (“United and Continental flirt with merger”), an IHT blogger (“Matches made in the heavens?”), and MarketWatch (“Airlines’ race is on to find dance partners”). The third graph elaborated: “The race is on to find dance partners in airline industry before the music stops.”
Forbes.com, though, gets our vote for nailing a trifecta — romance, weather, and sex:
“Love may be in the air, but analysts are viewing the flurry of reported talks among airlines with some caution,” it declared. “United isn’t the only carrier looking to hook up.”
Edward B. Colby was a writer at CJR Daily.