Could you be any less interested in the Hewlett-Packard scandal?

The Wall Street Journal doesn’t think so. It’s still throwing precious reportorial resources into keeping this tabloid-friendly story going nearly a week after it broke.

Today it splashes an extremely boring profile of Jodie Fisher, who settled with now former CEO Mark Hurd after accusing him of sexual harrassment, on the Marketplace front, complete with a big above-the-fold picture of the former softcore-porn actress. The Journal has been flooding the zone on this story all week. But it’s really reaching now.

Reaching so far it’s tracking down Fisher’s former soft-focus love interest from a two-decade old Skinemax flick for a worthless quote:

In her first film, a 1992 erotic thriller called “Intimate Obsession,” she played a woman who was married to a rich man and had an affair with a handsome boxer. The film aired on Showtime and other cable channels, said James Quattrochi, who played the boxer in the film and is now a producer and director. “We both had aspirations of being movie stars,” he said.

They were young. They needed the money.

The “hook” for this WSJ story is that Fisher has a job in New Jersey. I am not kidding. Here’s the headline:

Far From H-P, A Job in Jersey

She now works for her mother’s staffing company. Pardon me while I wipe the sleep from my eyes:

After the H-P gigs dried up in 2009, Ms. Fisher apparently gave up her Hollywood dreams and moved with her 12-year-old son to New Jersey.

“She seemed to have a good life and take care of her son very well,” said Hayley Mortison, a close friend of Ms. Fisher’s in Los Angeles. “She wanted to go out and help her mom and learn the business with her so she decided to take that opportunity and make that change.”

Oh, please do tell me more! Wait, here it is:

At one point she managed a Los Angeles apartment complex called Belle Fontaine.

Ms. Fisher was for several years married to a California man who has worked as an artist, model and chef among other pursuits, according to a person who knows his family. They divorced in 2003. Court records show Ms. Fisher received no spousal support, only household furniture and $500 a month in child support. Both she and her husband were listed as earning $2,000 a month each at the time.

Take a look at the comments on WSJ.com. They’re brutal about this Murdoch special. My favorite:

What is this, US Weekly?

Thing is: US Weekly would at least make the thing an interesting read.

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Ryan Chittum is a former Wall Street Journal reporter, and deputy editor of The Audit, CJR's business section. If you see notable business journalism, give him a heads-up at rc2538@columbia.edu. Follow him on Twitter at @ryanchittum.