Yes, Salon’s “10 Dumbest Tiger Woods Stories” list could no doubt be four times as long, but I’ll limit myself (for this morning, at least) to one addition, in which People magazine asked (of course!) a body language expert to interpret Tiger Woods’ movements at Monday’s press conference in Augusta.

Whereas laymen perhaps observed Woods clear his brow of hat-induced perspiration as he walked into a room full of “friends,” the body language expert determined the following about Woods “taking off his hat and wiping his head with his elbow as he entered the room:”

Any signal like that is to get rid of bad feelings, bad thoughts or bad emotions. It was also defensive toward the journalists. He was afraid of what was going to happen.

And, of Woods “taking a drink when asked about media coverage,” the expert understood that:

Instead of savoring that sweet drink, he sticks his tongue out. He wanted to stick his tongue out at them, but it left a bad taste in his mouth. Then after the drink, he coughed and put his hand over his mouth. Which says it didn’t go down well and he wanted to cough up how horrible it was.

Expertly-put.

Liz Cox Barrett is a writer at CJR.