Here’s Dr. Dennis Hurwitz, clinical professor of plastic surgery at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, providing some much-buzzed-about “proof” of the National Enquirer’s claim that Frances Quinn Hunter, Daughter of Rielle, is the self-same child awkwardly held by John Edwards in The Blurry Photo Seen ‘Round the World: “I have studied babies’ head and face formation for many years and I am confident that these photos are one and the same baby,” Hurwitz told the Enquirer.

Well, that should settle it! This is expert testimony, after all. So it’s totally fair for the Enquirer to refer to said Blurry Photo as depicting “Edwards holding his new daughter” and, later, as portraying “the former presidential contender holding his infant.”

But wait, there’s more! Dr. Hurwitz elaborates on his photo-comparison: “The shape of the head, the hairline formation, and the prominent brow along with the deep-set eyes are strikingly similar.”

Ergo: “IT’S THE SAME BABY,” the Enquirer concludes, in all caps. Ergo: Edwards simply must be the father. Since holding a baby is, you know, totally the same as siring it.

Ergo: Case closed! With proof like that, who needs DNA testing?

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Megan Garber is an assistant editor at the Nieman Journalism Lab at Harvard University. She was formerly a CJR staff writer.