Vanity Fair has managed to obtain what it describes as Richard Mellon Scaife’s first interview in eight years. Alas, the subject is not the seemingly failing fortunes of his Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, or the mega-billionaire’s patronage of the American Right and its media outlets.

Rather, he takes the time to trash his wife “Ritchie,” as the couple undergoes an embarrassingly—and entertainingly—messy divorce. (In the resulting article, she too speaks on the case for the first time.)

We’ve looked at the press angles behind their spat before. Sadly, they’re missing from this take. But as consolation, enjoy its well spun allegations of anonymous hatchet letters, $600,000 make-up jewelry, intergenerational pot-smoking, voodoo pin-sticking, and a fireworks display spelling “RITCHIE LOVES DICK.”