With the Thanksgiving Travel Delay Story come and gone - along with its sister story, the one that comes with the continual loop of footage of puffy-coated Americans sitting in lawn chairs outside of Best Buy at midnight — what’s next in the world of cable news seasonal reportage?

For Fox News, there’s that evergreenest of stories: The War On Christmas.

And per Fox & Friends this morning, a stealth, new enemy has apparently joined the fight this year: t-shirts. “Terrible,” “dirty” t-shirts available at your neighborhood Urban Outfitters store. (Fox’s on-screen caption: “War on Christmas: Urban Outfitters’ Offense”).

Fox managed to obtain (exclusive?) footage of the threatening tees one of which is a sickening shade of blue with white lettering declaring that Jews Do it for Eight Nights (“That’s a Hanukah reference,” Fox & Friend’s Alisyn Camerota explained to viewers). And then there’s the shirt with a sinister-looking, bird-flipping Santa Claus bearing this blasphemy: Santa Hates You!

A declaration of war if ever there was.

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Liz Cox Barrett is a writer at CJR.