So the financial bailout bill—“larded up,” the Boston Globe’s Jay Fitzgerald noted, “with legislative sweeteners, such as tax breaks for bicycle commuters, toy arrows and Caribbean rum makers”—has been passed by the House.

Proof of, among other things, the fact that Captain Morgan always wins.

Megan Garber is an assistant editor at the Nieman Journalism Lab at Harvard University. She was formerly a CJR staff writer.