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So the bizarre, twist-and-turn-laden balloon “flight” of six-year-old Falcon Heene yesterday Captivated The NationâŚby which we mean, of course, that it Captivated The Nationâs Media. The Balloon Boy story, with its irresistible mix of human drama and utter strangeness, will surely continue to enthrall us until some other bright, shiny thing takes our attentionâand not only on the nationâs cable networks, but also within those traditional vehicles of American ideas: magazines.
Below, then, some cover stories we can expect to see over the next few weeks:
The Atlantic: “Are BallOOns Making Us STOOPID? Andrew Sullivan on Balloons, Blogging, and the Perils of Hot Air; Corby Kummer on How Falcon Heeneâs Favorite Mealâthe Tempeh ManwichâIs Taking over the Denver Food Scene; and Richard Floridaâs Vision for a Helium City of the Future. (Also, visit TheAtlantic.com for an online special: âThe 100 Bravest Balloonists of All Time! Click Through to Check Out Each OneâTwo or Three or Four Times!â)”
Cosmopolitan: “Balloons in Bed: Twelve New Tricks Thatâll Make Him Pop!!!”
The Economist: âTHE POWER OF INFLATION: A Dryly Droll and Acerbically Authoritative Account of the Economics of U.S. BallooningâAn Account, If We May Be So Bold, Which One Had Better Read Whilst the Account Remains Fresh So That One Will Not Provoke the Ridicule of the Educated Urban Elites Whom One Calls Oneâs Friendsâ.
Entertainment Weekly: âThe Heene Family and Their Book Deal: A Sneak Peak inside If We Did Itâ
Esquire: âBalloons We Love! Ten of the hottest blow-ups in the biz.â
Good Housekeeping: Mayumi Heene on Family, Life, and LoveââBeing a parent is the ultimate storm!â
Gourmet: [Too soon.]
GRAND SLAM, The Magazine for Employees of Dennyâs and Its Subsidiaries: âBALLOONS OVER MY HAMMY: The pancake, egg, and sausage breakfast that keeps Balloon Boy fueled for his journeysâ
Harperâs: âBalloons in Geneva: Why the Time Has Come to Recognize the Rights of Rubber.” By Scott Horton.
The Huffington Post: âBalloons Shaped Like Breasts! (PHOTOS, SLIDESHOW, POLL)â
McSweeneyâs: âIf Youâre Having Trouble Reading This Headline, Itâs Because Weâve Decided to Print Our Current Issue on the Side of a Balloon. Talk about High Art! Wheeee!”
The National Review: âBalloons and Socialism: What Americans Need to Know to Keep Their Tax Dollars Safe from Pelosi and Companyâ
The New Republic: âDEATHY BY BALLOON: Betsy McCaughey digs deep into the study just released by Americans For Balloon Safety, and comes to the explosive conclusion that, buried on p. 742 of the report, the Obama administration reveals its intent to tether all Americans over the age of 50 to a hot-air balloon roughly the size of Rhode Island and float them away to Canada. McCaughey also proves that the 20-foot-wide balloon named in the report is bigger than a 30-foot-wide one, using science.”
New York: âUmâŚwhat did Gawker say?â
The New Yorker: “FiddlesticksâŚwhat did Gawker say?â
The New York Review of Books: âThe End of Irony? The Fate of Mirth in a Post-Balloon-Boy Worldâ
Newsweek: âBALLOONS AND ANDREW JACKSON: Pulitzer winner Jon Meacham, who recently won a Pulitzer Prize, explores the connection between two touchpoints of American Democracyâballoons, and our seventh presidentâin a manner pleasing to both coastal elites and fellow winners of the Pulitzer Prize.”
Real Simple: Twenty Surprising Uses for Mylar! (#12: Use it to build a balloon that will loft you so high that youâll end up getting interviewed by Wolf Blitzer!)
Reason: âThe Right to Balloon: If Falcon Heene Felt Like Faking a Balloon Flight, That Is His Own Damn Business.” By Matt Welch
Slate: âExplainer: Whatâs Up With Balloons? A Charmingly Counterintuitive Take”
Time: What Newsweek said. Or something on the economy, or culture, or whatever.
TV Guide: âWhy the Balloon Boy Story Was Much More Important than Obamaâs Trip to New Orleans, and Why Cable Newsâs Priorities Were Spot-On: Our April 1 Issue Preview!â
US Weekly: âTO BALLOON AND BACK: Lady Gaga describes her harrowing battle with balloonorexia. The star reveals: âRubber-based products got me where I am today!ââ
Vanity Fair: âLadies Who Latex! Hollywoodâs Hottest Young Stars Gather for Balloon-Inspired Debauchery at the Waverly Inn, as Graydon Carter Leers Watches. (Inside: A Photo Essay of the Event, Shot by Annie Leibovitz in Exchange for a $25 Dunkinâ Donuts Coupon.)â
Vogue: âBalloons, in Colors That Pop! How to wear the fallâs hottest accessory.â (Inside: A Photo Essay of Balloon-Bearing Celebrities, Shot by Annie Leibovitz in Exchange for a $25 Dunkinâ Donuts Coupon.)â
See you at the newsstand!
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