MANCHESTER, NH - Driving around New Hampshire from event to event, three things keep my mind occupied: 1) the scenery—gorgeous, even in winter; 2) the campaign signs, artfully studding nearly every available snow embankment, lining roads like patriotic dominoes; and 3) the political radio ads. They’re on all the time, and they’re often quite effective. (There’s something about being in a car on a quiet road, I think, that makes the mind extra-amenable to campaign rhetoric. I’m getting a bit verklempt as I type this just thinking about how much John Edwards, you know, cares. That voice of his is so soothing. And that McCain…what a straight-shooter.)
I heard one spot yesterday evening, though, that was more amusing than affecting as it gave listeners a whole new reason to rock the vote. You can listen to it here, and I’ve transcribed it below; no reason Granite Staters and their guests should be having all the fun right now:
Have you been looking for love in all the wrong places? Disappointed with the people you’ve been dating? Never have anything to talk about or anything in common?
Well, get ready, because Americans eighteen and over are gathering at local voting polls all across America.
(Woman’s voice): I met John at the polls four years ago. We started chatting, and bickering, about all our political beliefs. And here we are, together, four years later, right where it started.
(John): I was trying to meet women at the grocery store, museums, but I never expected to meet anyone at the polls. We had an instant connection.
Yep. So, guys, stop looking for love at the grocery store. Just go vote! It’s like match.com. Only patriotic.