How prescient? In 2009, Stephen Colbert pondered whether Sbarro deserved a bailout. The fake news host concluded no, because “the Parmesan cheese gets stuck in the shaker and won’t come out as fast as I like.” Instead, as a helpful cost cutting strategy, Colbert suggested a “Crust Lovers Pizza” to save on those pesky costs like cheese, sauce and toppings. We’ll see if Sbarro’s restructuring advisers at Kirkland & Ellis take this idea to heart.
Seriously. Never, ever eat at a Sbarro in New York. Just don’t.