The former UBS banker who’s been in the news recently after his indictment for helping billionaires evade taxes, will plead guilty in June and turn state’s evidence. That tightens the screws on UBS, which the Journal on C1 says is discussing settling with the U.S. by giving prosecutors the names of its American clients, a no-no for a Swiss bank.

Despite an information-sharing agreement with the U.S. in 2000, Swiss banks continued to secretly manage the assets of wealthy Americans, according to banking documents, court filings and several people familiar with the arrangements. To keep that work secret from U.S. authorities, the Swiss banks used shell companies and sometimes directed their American customers to put their accounts in Liechtenstein.

The arrangement—outlined in a legal analysis prepared in 2000 by the Swiss Bankers Association and in a separate set of LGT documents—involved setting up companies and trusts to act as the nominal owners of the assets, thereby shielding the identities of U.S. citizens seeking to shelter the funds from the IRS.

The NYT scoops on C7 that Bradley Birkenfeld, the ex-banker, “will implicate others at UBS and other financial institutions,” according to a source. Fun!

But can the U.S. get its hands on the alleged wrongdoers? The FT reminds readers of its scoop that UBS is advising the bankers not to travel to the U.S. to avoid getting swooped up like Birkenfeld.

‘You screwed us, Jimmy’

Bear Stearns finally came to its end yesterday after eighty-five years, as shareholders voted to accept the $10 a share deal from JPMorgan Chase. Apparently, folks couldn’t wait to wash their hands of the mess: the Journal on C1 says the meeting “lasted about 11 minutes.”

Chairman and ex-CEO Jimmy Cayne showed up and even offered a perfunctory apology to shareholders. It was met with “dead silence,” the NYT reports.

“That which does not kill you makes you stronger,” he added. “And at this point we are all like Hercules.”

Again, his words were met with silence.

“JPMorgan is a great organization,” he concluded. “There are better days ahead.”

And then the meeting, which lasted no more than 10 minutes, was over and Bear’s employees headed quietly off to work.

A Quote of the Day Sampler from the “carnival like atmosphere” of T-shirts and signed paintings outside the company’s headquarters:

“You screwed us Jimmy.”

“I worked for Bear Stearns 20 years and all I got was a Cayne-ing.”

“Hubris—thy name is Jimmy!”

We like this best of all, from the NYT:

Entrepreneurs hawked T-shirts with pictures of Mr. Cayne playing a violin on the 19th hole of a golf course.

Discredit bureau

The LAT reports that credit bureau TransUnion Coproration has signed the largest class-action settlement in history. TransUnion had sold lists of consumers based on their credit files to others in violation of federal law.

The settlement will give consumers six months of free access to their credit reports and credit scores—a service it normally sells for $60 or more.

Rachael Ray hates our freedoms!

The Associated Press reports on a bone-headed move by Dunkin’ Donuts, which caved into loony right-wing blog attacks that claimed Rachael Ray (!) was promoting jihadism by wearing a Palestinian-style kaffiyeh while she holds “an iced coffee while standing in front of trees with pink blossoms.”

We’re sorry, but this doesn’t exactly scream “kill the infidels” to us.

  • 1
  • 2