It’s Halloween, which, naturally, means it’s time for TV news people to make fools of themselves. To start the day off right, CNN trotted out Kiran Chetry to gauge world opinion about the upcoming U.S. election. As she chatted up a British correspondent, the camera pulled out, revealing what Chetry was wearing with that stark, classy black top of hers: a horrid and clingy orange skirt. Oh, and she was standing behind a bale of hay topped with two elaborately carved, glowing jack-o-lanterns.

A bit further downtown, the cast of The Today Show was not to be outdone. Orange and black officewear? Psssh. Amateurs! Al Roker dressed up as a gingerbread man. A giant, foamy gingerbread man with a green button on his crotch and red eyebrows up top. Now that’s how it’s done, people. Meredith Vieira emerged as Pinocchio, her womanly figure crushed into lederhosen, her face painted in the manner of plywood and adorned by a long, floppy nose. And Matt Lauer? He showed up as Humpty Dumpty, his face painted a cadaverous white, his limbs protruding awkwardly from a huge white ovoid dressed in red velveteen. And, in case they had a little too much pride left, the whole Today Show cast split into teams—Mother Goose vs. Brothers Grimm—to play “Fairy Tale Feud.” Truly, this must be seen to be believed.

So, anyway, as we were saying about the world’s opinion of America…

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Julia Ioffe is a freelance writer based in New York City.