It’s only Tuesday, but here’s a contender in the Are You Kidding Me With This Thanksgiving-Themed News Report? Contest (which I’ve just made up after having stumbled upon the contender, courtesy of the Cape May County (NJ) Herald, and in anticipation of additional candidates— cable news, I’m looking at you! — as Thursday approaches):

“One Turkey’s Thoughts On Thanksgiving. By: Puffledown of Cold Spring Village”

(To give you an idea of what to expect, this might be Maureen Cawley’s, er, “Puffledown’s,” best line: “Turkey Day, you call it. Really? And what is it exactly you do on Mother’s Day? I really don’t even want to know.”)