On Friday, apparently, a week from today, the waters will part, the heavens will stir, and the light of Democratic Party Unity will shine down from above. That’s right: Obama and Clinton will make their first public appearance together. Cue the choirs. Or something.

We’re already looking forward to the detailed body-language analyses, the deep discussions of Snub-gate, and the general frenzy of media attention that will accompany this utterly predictable event.