On Friday, apparently, a week from today, the waters will part, the heavens will stir, and the light of Democratic Party Unity will shine down from above. That’s right: Obama and Clinton will make their first public appearance together. Cue the choirs. Or something.

We’re already looking forward to the detailed body-language analyses, the deep discussions of Snub-gate, and the general frenzy of media attention that will accompany this utterly predictable event.

Megan Garber is an assistant editor at the Nieman Journalism Lab at Harvard University. She was formerly a CJR staff writer.