behind the news

Haberman Fouls Out

October 11, 2005

Pity the poor writer on the day after his hometown team is expelled from the playoffs. Some, like the Boston Globe‘s perennially treacly Dan Shaughnessy, turn to other matters. Others, like the New York Times‘ Clyde Haberman, use it as an excuse to phone in an article that reads more like something from Andy Rooney’s remainder bin than anything that’s worthy of inclusion in the New York Times.

Today, after last night’s elimination of the Yankees by the Los Angeles Angels, Haberman, the Times‘ “NYC columnist,” launched into a full-scale attack on New York Yankee fans, calling them “as oafish a bunch as can be found this side of an English soccer stadium: drunken, hostile, foulmouthed, misogynistic and ready for violence.”

Apparently, Haberman was shocked — shocked! — at the mere potential for violence at a professional sporting event. But, if we look at the record, one can make the case for the utter absence of such instances at Yankee Stadium, despite his protestations to the contrary. Surely the fans at Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia (where for a few seasons in the late 1990s the city actually ran a courtroom beneath the stadium to process violent Eagles fans) have a leg up on their New York counterparts. And of course, it would seem that to Haberman, Yankee fans put to shame the drunken father/son duo who rushed the field to administer a beating to Kansas City Royals first base coach Tom Gamboa in September 2002 at Chicago’s Comiskey Park. And we suppose the Philadelphia Flyers fan who in March 2001 found himself in the penalty box being pummeled by Tie Domi of the Toronto Maple Leafs surely would be aghast at the louts to be found in the Bronx. In Haberman’s mind, it seems that Yankee fans are also worse than those in Oakland, who so hounded Texas Rangers pitcher Frank Francisco last summer that he snapped and threw a chair into the stands, breaking a woman’s nose.

Then, of course, we have the “Motor City Mayhem” incident of November 2004, when near the end of the Indiana Pacers-Detroit Pistons game in Detroit, a fan threw a cup of beer at Indiana’s Ron Artest, provoking Artest and Stephen Jackson to leap into the stands to brawl with fans, while teammate Jermaine O’Neal sucker-punched another fan who ran onto the court.

But Haberman apparently witnessed an even more offensive spectacle at Yankee Staduim — a “young woman in a halter top,” dancing between innings!

What’s even worse, according to Haberman, was that in the throng of some 55,000 people, certain social niceties were ignored. Haberman tsk-tsk’s that “Several times, men bumped accidentally into one another in the narrow aisles. Did it occur to any of them to say, ‘Excuse me’? No, that would have been sensible.”

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Channeling the collective will of Yankee fans, he accuses them of thinking themselves more sophisticated than other baseball fans, but “Were that self-aggrandizing silliness true, they would routinely applaud great plays by the opposing team. They rarely do, a churlish spirit that the Yankees endorse.”

One wonders if Haberman perhaps thought he was attending a spelling bee? We would like to know what fans, in what stadium, in what sport, routinely applaud great plays from the opposing team.

This isn’t the first time Haberman has grossly overstated his case, with some pretty grim results. After all, he’s the guy who claims to get “withering looks” from strangers (including the homeless) because he tucks his shirt into his pants, in a city where “it is hopelessly uncool to sally forth dressed liked that.” Actually, Clyde, it’s not in the least uncool to tuck your shirt in, even in New York, but if you’re concerned about being cool, we’d suggest excising the term “sally forth” from your next dispatch.

We understand that Haberman has to file all of twice a week, which probably explains his regrettable habit of recycling his own content. Consider this paragraph from July 27, 2004 complaining about cell phones:

How else do you explain their fetishistic calling-up of friends to say little more than that they have just crossed 53rd and Lex and in another block will be, amazingly, at 54th and Lex?

To this September 27, 2005 article complaining about, um, cell phones:

They yak on their cellphones, talking business nonstop or telling friends that they’re at Fifth Avenue and 23rd Street and — hey, you know what? — Fifth and 24th is coming up.

Fascinating stuff — twice so.

Here’s a suggestion for Haberman: Next season, don’t even think about subjecting your delicate sensibilities to the slings and arrows of the brutes at professional sporting events. Who knows, if you do, you might have to endure someone talking on their cell phone during the game! Which, actually, wouldn’t be so bad — you could recycle both your cell phone story and this morning’s piece, once again.

–Paul McLeary

Paul McLeary is a former CJR staff writer. Since 2008, he has covered the Pentagon for Foreign Policy, Defense News, Breaking Defense, and other outlets. He is currently a defense reporter for Politico.