In her column, Minority Reports, Jennifer Vanasco analyzes how the mainstream media covers social minorities.
Jennifer Aniston is one of the wealthiest women in the entertainment industry. She has appeared in 27 feature films, starred in the hit sitcom Friends, owns a film production company, and just secured her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. But the poor woman only found happiness after she got engaged.
For “proof,” just look at the headlines. USA Today: “Has Jennifer Aniston finally found her happy ending?” Huffington Post: “Jennifer Aniston engaged: Insiders hope she ‘has finally found Mr. Right.’” ABC news, in an online story, led with this: “It looks like America’s sweetheart may finally be getting her happily ever after.”
But why does the media—do we—consider “happily ever after” to equal marriage? Perhaps it’s because women are still in constant danger of being reduced to their roles as wives or mothers (you’ll recall that dust-up last month over news that new Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer is pregnant). It’s as if, once married or pregnant, women can’t focus on anything else. As if they can’t be anything else.
Relationships and children are important and make many women happy and fulfilled, of course, but so do lots of other things, from spiritual practices to career success to creative challenges. Yet the tale of Jennifer Aniston is an example of a story in which a woman’s accomplishments are eclipsed by a cultural need to see an unmarried woman as a woman who is lonely and desperate.
The story of “America’s sweetheart” pre-fiancĂ© Justin Theroux went like this: Aniston and Brad Pitt were married for five years. They got divorced. Pitt went on to have a happy, child-filled life with the darkly sexy Angelina Jolie (and perhaps fell for her on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith while he was still with Aniston.) But Aniston? She couldn’t hold down a man! She regretted losing Brad! She was locked in a duel with Jolie! And, at 43, she still wasn’t married or pregnant. Clearly, before she became engaged, Aniston’s life was sad and ruined, despite her career success.
The thing is, this narrative fed to us by both the tabloids and the legitimate media just isn’t true. Aniston has said so herself. In 2009 she told Elle magazine wearily, “If I’m the emblem for ‘this is what it looks like to be the lonely girl getting on with her life,’ so be it. I can make fun of myself, and I’ll bring it up as long as the world is bringing it up.”
That article, written by Aniston’s friend and colleague Kristin Hahn, noted that Aniston is surrounded by a warm circle of friends. “I think of the irony of all those magazine covers that borrow Jen’s face to tell a soap opera about a lonely girl who just can’t catch a break,” Hahn wrote. “What those of us who’ve been close to her for so long know is that she can’t catch a break from the media’s perception of who she is and the projection of what our culture seems to need her to be.”
Funny how even the most successful women can be reduced to their marital status, huh? Although male celebrities are often forced into media narratives as well, they are rarely ones in which a longing for spouse and baby obliterate talk of all other achievements. Says Jezebel:
I duly note that people are also incredibly obsessed with George Clooney’s love life. But with him, it’s always about which young woman he’s been showing off and what a great life he has as the single man about town. Don’t get me wrong, I admire him and his politics. But there is never an air of desperation in the stories about him. His stories are about freedom.
Happily, some in the media stepped back to look at the big picture around Aniston’s engagement.New York speculated that we are fascinated by Aniston because she is divorced, and a “divorced woman past the age of 40 still elicits disappointment and disapproval—no matter how rich, beautiful, and independent she is or how girl-friendly culture becomes.”
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The reasons, obviously, is the audience for this stuff. Without wading into high weeds of political correctness, here's a hint: men don't spend time reading about Jennifer Aniston.
#1 Posted by Mark Richard, CJR on Fri 17 Aug 2012 at 04:59 PM
"because women are still in constant danger of being reduced to their roles as wives or mothers"
Most women I know consider their roles as wives and mothers to be an elevation, not a reduction, in social status and self-worth.
But as Mark notes... It is women, not men, who drive the "who's dating whom, what color were her bridemaid's shoes" stories. Women have an innate fascination with marriage and relationships - indeed recent research indicates that girls just six years old identify themselves as sex objects.
At the risk of offending feminist sensitivities, I think we're dealing with biology here.
#2 Posted by padikiller, CJR on Sat 18 Aug 2012 at 05:38 PM
And another thing...
Just tugging on the pullrope of the Reality Bell for a moment...
Since females are a MAJORITY in this country....
Shouldn't a series entitled "Minority Reports" be talking about how men are getting screwed over, instead of women?
HUH?
I know... I know...
We're not in Realityville...
We're in CJR-Land...
Sorry...
Preach on it, Sister Jennifer!
#3 Posted by padikiller, CJR on Sat 18 Aug 2012 at 07:36 PM
Wow, who knew that being a wife and mother was a "reduction" and a "constant danger?"
Maybe women like Jennifer Aniston are portrayed this way is because, they are, indeed sad and lonely.
The question isn't whether woman can be anything else if they are wives and mothers. The question is whether they should be anything else after they become wives and mothers.
#4 Posted by newspaperman, CJR on Mon 20 Aug 2012 at 01:12 PM
Being a wife and mother is not a "reduction." Having marriage and motherhood considered your only attributes is the reduction Jennifer is referring to. Only discussing one aspect of anyone's life or achievements is "reducing" that person in some way.
Once a man is married with children, should he be known primarily as a husband and father? Or do his career achievements merit recognition? That's the point of the statement, not that marriage and parenting aren't worthy, worthwhile, difficult, rewarding, etc.
#5 Posted by Jennifer Land, CJR on Mon 20 Aug 2012 at 05:51 PM
Nobody considers motherhood and marriage to be a woman's "only attributes".
Just look at Katy Perry... She is neither married, nor a mother, and she has fine attributes that everybody talks about.
But seriously...
Billie Jean King? Amelia Earhart? Hillary Clinton?
This whole gripe is nothing but a feminist whine.
#6 Posted by padikiller, CJR on Mon 20 Aug 2012 at 08:34 PM
Wow. The commenters are something else in this here thread.
When the pay for being a good mom equals or exceeds the pay of being a good career woman, then we can talk about the "elevation" of societal status and self worth.
Until then, let's just face that the societal perception of motherhood, minus a support figure, is that of a low skill/low wage job. And let's also face the fact that in a society where women are often found judged by how they'd place in a swimsuit competition, that motherhood tends to affect a woman's body in a way that doesn't help.
Jennifer Aniston pretty much lost her husband because she was afraid the motherhood role would rob her ability to perform in her career role, and since has been struggling to get over it. Owen Wilson had a similar problem getting over Kate Hudson. Romance is sharp and people get cut.
But that's Anistion's story. It's not the story for every woman, every individual. The media should be careful not to overtell that story based on prejudices and assumptions about what a woman is or what a woman wants to be. Women can be career oriented. Women can be mothers. Women can be single. Some women can do it all:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/13/AR2009051301628.html
And boy, it's rare, really rare, to hear a question as stupid as this one:
"The question is whether they should be anything else after they become wives and mothers."
Not your question to ask, not your position to answer. It takes a village to raise a child and we should be focused on building that sort of village, not pestering people about what sort of women should live in it.
Would you ask a single father to relinquish his career because of his three kids?
#7 Posted by Thimbles, CJR on Mon 20 Aug 2012 at 10:04 PM