The Washington Post has a piece today on the Dover media ban, including a brief history of the policy and this on its future:
Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates expects a review of the issue back within days, Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell said Friday. Gates is seeking “a way to better balance an individual family’s privacy concerns with the right of the American people to honor these fallen heroes” and “is disposed, leaning, tilting towards trying to do more, if possible” to allow coverage of the ceremony, Morrell said.
I have read the varying opinions on the DOVER policy, and if the crux of the "for opening Dover" side of the issue is that showing the Flag Draped Casket is the best way to show the cost of war, and some would say "to honor the fallen", then couldn't we just cut to the chase, take a picture of an empty flag draped casket, and use that as the "display" for all media purposes since, in reality, one flag draped casket looks just like another one? Unless and except it is the Flag Draped Casket of your fallen loved one arriving back on American soil.
Having said that, let me say from a first hand point of view what it is like to be the dad of a Fallen American Soldier and what it is like to meet a son's Flag Draped Casket It is a moment that is an intensely pesonal grief filled moment that lasts a lifetime. It is a moment that should be the family's and not the nations, for while there are those who say the loss is the nation's, tell me, how many in this nation, three years after the death of my son, is as heart broken as the Stokely family, if ever they were to begin with? How many still miss him on his birthday, wake up on the anniversary of his death with a hollow pit in their stomach, or hang his empty stocking over the mantle at Christmas? How many will miss him cheering at their high school graduation or other important moment in life as his sister willl? How many will miss having the benefit of counsel on becoming a man and avoiding life's pitfalls as his brother will? How many will wince at the thought these words will never bee heard "hey Uncle Mike, watch me...." or will miss being a daughter who willl never exist be walked down the isle as the father of the bride? How many will be a mother and father whose son will not be there when they are old and infirmed and how many will miss being that son who will not even get to shed a tear at their grave?
Just as we do not publish the name of the fallen for the entire nation to see before we have told the Fallen's family, neither should we display the Flag Draped Caskets in the media before the family has had that first moment for themselves.
Given that the Fallen and their families have given a Lifetime of Love for America and will for the rest of their lives bear the grief burden, Is the privacy of Dover too much to ask to be ours alone?
proud dad SGT Mike Stokely
KIA 16 AUG 05 near Yusufiyah Iraq
USA E 108 CAV 48th BCT GAARNG
#1 Posted by robert stokely, CJR on Sun 22 Feb 2009 at 10:22 AM