cover story

Funny follows

Comedic tweeters
July 1, 2013

Was it William Shakespeare or @wise_kaplan who said, “Brevity is the soul of wit”? In either case, of Twitter it might be more accurate to say, “Wit is the soul of brevity.” The 140-character microblogging platform is where today’s working journalists not only live and breathe, but also grin and guffaw. Twitter is where they go for the latest scoops and to break news, but, just as essentially, for comic relief and to crack wise.

CJR asked some journalists who are active on Twitter (and hilarious in their own right) whom they follow for a reliable laugh.

David Corn (@DavidCornDC), DC editor of Mother Jones

@pourmecoffee «First, they came for the masturbators and I said nothing because, well I said nothing it’s not important why»

@OTooleFan «Dear Bob Woodward: When you go on HANNITY to plead your case, it’s over, buddy. Time for your fruit cup.»

@AlbertBrooks «I just found out Iron Man is not a true story. Bummer.»

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@SpeakerBoehner «Jobs continue to be our number one priority»

Emma Carmichael (@emmacargo), editor of The Hairpin

@HellDudeREAL «YOUR PULSE IS A PROBLEM, I’M ABOUT TO END IT “@liaamal: this problem… again? -_- the hell dude”»


@hamiltonnolan «Outlaw Ivy League athletics.»

@laura_june «Remember before you could swim and you had to wear those dumb things on your arms. Lol.»

@netw3rk «Zach Randolph runs like he’s having an argument with running.»

Matt Cooper (@mattizcoop), editor and correspondent for National Journal

@delrayser «Maybe if we rename the poor, the unemployed, and minorities “Benghazi” we can trick the GOP into actually caring about them.»

@WeeLaura «Rupert Murdoch just retweeted Deepak Chopra. Take me now, Lord.»

@jimgaffigan «Next time I have to cry in an acting scene I’m just going to imagine a world without everything bagels.»

@pourmecoffee «When they figure out how to 3D print outrage, there will be no need for Twitter anymore.»

Rachel Sklar (@rachelsklar), media writer and entrepreneur

@KMaverick «We as a society are not ready for self serve checkout.»

@AllanaHarkin «My children in the car: “Mommy, why did you call that guy a juice-bag?”.»

@iamsambee «Sometimes I catch my own reflection and think “I would have made a terrific Pilgrim.”»

@jenafriedman «I just need to learn how to open a jar, then I can be alone forever!»

Chris Moody (@Chris_Moody), political reporter for Yahoo News

@iowahawkblog «Breaking: Eric Holder arrests self in DOJ sting; releases self after forgetting to read self Miranda rights»

@EvanMcSan «free idea for jeopardy category: “things that are fettered”»

@elisefoley «Pretty sure I think way too much about varying my “mhmm”s, “right”s, “okay”s and “sure”s on phone interviews.»

@delrayser «If Jon Karl ever tries to tell you he slept with someone he probably means she read him the plot of a porno over the phone.»

Ann Friedman (@annfriedman), magazine editor and CJR columnist

@BoobsRadley «The pain of childbirth seems like an OK trade off for how great it feels to take to your bra off.»

@colsonwhitehead «I can do The Robot or write another page…or I can do The Robot *while* I write another page!»

@robdelaney «If you got belts for being good at sex, the sensei would probably cover my whole body in a suit made of black belts, exposing only my tongue»

@bessbell «Naming your kid “Peyton” is a great way to let people know you wish you married a richer guy.»

Daniel Victor (@bydanielvictor), New York Times social-media editor

@mkramer «Why did 14 people I don’t know friend me on Facebook tonight? Why am I on Facebook? Why did I just use friend as a verb?»

@ElaheIzadi «Hey, father of the gif, we’re using a hard G. Some parents want their kids to be doctors, and they end up going to film school. Let it go»

@michaelroston «Working on a spec script for my new Food Network show: Slaw & Order»

@harrisj «A TV show about an itinerant PR man who rides the plains, looking for brands in trouble that need a hand.»

@mjenkins «Not surprisingly, New York City on a rainy day is not ideal for learning to use crutches.»

@rkearney «If I’m a @nytimes subscriber, and I’m signed in, maybe don’t turn the whole homepage into a Jaguar ad in which some guy throws keys at me.»

The Editors are the staffers of the Columbia Journalism Review.