Sign up for The Media Today, CJRâs daily newsletter.
The effects of the practice commonly referred to as water tortureâeven more commonly, Chinese water tortureâare psychological rather than physical, causing excruciation of the mind rather than the body. The torture exploits on the one hand humans’ deep-seated need for varietyâendless repetition is, literally, maddeningâand on the other our (equally deep-seated) desire for predictability. By dripping drops of water on a victim’s forehead, and then by occasionally interrupting the rhythm, the torturer creates a potent combination that can cause that victim to go slowlyâdrip by excruciating dripâinsane.
I mention that because I’m moderately sure that The New York Times has officially violated the Geneva Conventions…via an article this weekend, “A Dirty Pun Tweaks Chinaâs Online Censors,” that wasâdrip, drip, dripâabsolutely, profoundly, and utterly maddening. Not because what the piece did was badâactually, it was generally quite interestingâbut because of what it didn’t do.
The article in question, it bears repeating, is entitled “A Dirty Pun Tweaks Chinaâs Online Censors.” It discusses subversive videos circulating around the Chinese Webosphereâabout a fictional “grass-mud horse” (the subject of said “dirty pun”)ârepeatedly referring, in the process, to “an especially vile obscenity” and “subversive behavior” and “an impish protest against censorship” and “the foul-named little horse” and “an icon of resistance to censorship” and “a juvenile response to an unreasonable rule” and “the little animal [that] neatly illustrates the futility of censorship.”
And then the article NEGLECTS TO TELL US what the vile obscenity/impish protest/juvenile responseâin other words, the dirty punâactually is.
“The creaturesâ names, as written in Chinese, were innocent enough,” the Times notes, breezily, referring to the mythological, alpaca-esque grass-mud horses. “But much as ‘bear’ and ‘bare’ have different meanings in English, their spoken names were double entendres with inarguably dirty second meanings.”
[Oooh, interesting! you think, intrigued. What second meanings?]
“So while âgrass-mud horseâ sounds like a nasty curse in Chinese, its written Chinese characters are completely different, and its meaning âtaken literally â is benign.”
[But, waitâwhat about the dirty meaning?]
“As depicted online, the grass-mud horse seems innocent enough at the start.”
[Okay, great. But what about the finish? How is it not innocent??]
“An alpaca-like animal â in fact, the videos show alpacas â it lives in a desert whose name resembles yet another foul word.”
[Okay, seriously. WHAT foul word?]
“The online videosâ scenes of alpacas happily romping to the Disney-style sounds of a childrenâs chorus quickly turn shocking â then, to many Chinese, hilarious â as it becomes clear that the songs fairly burst with disgusting language.”
[WHAT DISGUSTING LANGUAGE? What’s wrong with you? Why are you doing this???]
“To Chinese intellectuals, the songsâ message is clearly subversive, a lesson that citizens can flout authority even as they appear to follow the rules.”
[HOW??? HOW ARE THEY SUBVERSIVE???? FOR THE LOVE, NEW YORK TIMES, WHY WON’T YOU TELL ME????????]
But tell me the Times did not. (How fine the line between censorship and “tastefulness.”) Instead, the Gray Lady cheerfully pulled out every euphemism in the book with nary an explanation for the real words’ omission, apparently assuming that cheeky circumlocution would be enough to satisfy her readers’ curiosity.
If so…she assumed wrong. (Drip–drip–drip.)
Thank goodness, then, for Videogum (via Andrew Sullivan), which got to the bottom of the dirty pun in question:
The children are singing about grass mud horses (“Fuck Your Mother”) who live in a desert (“Your Mother’s C-word”) (ha), and defeat the river crabs (a word synonymous with “censorship.”)
There. Thank you. Was that so hard?
Has America ever needed a media defender more than now? Help us by joining CJR today.