behind the news

We Read Playboy for the Articles

May 25, 2005

Today’s subject is Paris Hilton.

Or rather, the flurry of stories that have greeted the recent emergence of the, um, notoriously-camera shy Ms. Hilton. The reality television/b-movie/amateur pornography star is hawking Carl’s Jr. hamburgers in a new commercial these days, and you might have noticed that the news coverage of same has been, well — let’s err on the side of understatement and call it grossly excessive, blatantly overblown and sniggeringly childish. CNN featured the controversy — and we use that term lightly — around the ad among its top stories today. The Los Angeles Times assigned a reporter to cover it. Even Bill O’Reilly took a break from warning the world about the evils of Ward Churchill to discuss the story. Google News lists 479 stories that include the words “Paris Hilton” and “Carl’s.” Think about it; that’s a whole lotta reporters who could be out doing something useful.

What exactly, you might wonder, is the story? Well, the Parents Television Council — arguably the driving force behind all that “Nipplegate” hand wringing — has condemned the Hilton burger ad as “soft-core porn” and “inappropriate for television.” The organization “plans to mobilize its more than 1 million members to protest and is considering petitioning the Federal Communications Commission for a ruling on whether the advertisements are indecent,” according to the Times. Now, the PTC, which was founded by our friend Brent Bozell, complains about an awful lot — according to a December 2004 Mediaweek report, they were responsible for 99.9 percent of all indecency complaints received by the FCC through October of that year. Among their complaints were one alarmed at “scripted bleeps and sexual innuendo dealing with homosexuality” on the show “Arrested Development,” and “talk of an oddly shaped penis and dry humping” on “Will and Grace.”

Blessedly, we didn’t hear much about those complaints. So why are we hearing so much about Paris? Well, the answer can be found here. Or here. Or here — with streaming video. You see, kids, as you (and Rick Solomon) know, people like looking at Paris. And though the commercial follows a straightforward plot — Paris has to wash a Bentley, and due to all the activity, she gets hungry and eats a burger — she goes at it as though she’s auditioning for a role on a late-night Cinemax movie. Which explains why the Carl’s Jr. website crashed after the ad came out from all the traffic. And why news organizations are using the “story” as an excuse to post stills from the ad and get a little of that traffic themselves.

As any fool has long known — the British tabloid the Sun, with its Page 3 Girl, springs to mind — sex sells. But we thought we’d just take a moment to lament the fact that our more legitimate media is so damned disingenuous. At least the Sun has the courage of its convictions — it says its going to give you a Page 3 girl, and there she is, lifting up her shirt. (And, yeah, by providing that link we realize we’ve opened ourselves up to some pot/kettle observations, but we thought you needed the visual. And besides, it’s PG-13.)

CNN and the Times, by contrast, want to give their readers, who presumably think of themselves as more highbrow, the same thing — but without the attendant guilt that comes with their ogling. So they pretend the commercial has driven a newsworthy controversy and write stories that invariably come attached to a picture or video of a scantily-clad Paris. These stories are the equivalent of those art house movies that chart “a young girl’s strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.” They’re crafted for those of us who see “Bai Ling Naked” on the cover of Playboy and stop by the newsstand for a copy. You know, for the articles.

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–Brian Montopoli

Brian Montopoli is a writer at CJR Daily.