Black Friday is coming! And this one will be as big as, if not more hyped and crowded than, Cyber Monday was last year.
Actually, this column has nothing to do with Black Friday, or with shopping. It has to do with comparative phrases. But that sounds so boring.
Comparative phrases, for the purposes of this column, relate one item to another. They include “as much as if not more than,” “as big as if not bigger,” “as good as if not better,” etc. They often have as their anchors “as” something in the first phrase and “if not” in the second, as in “Walter Cronkite was regarded as one of the greatest, if not the greatest, anchor of his generation,” though that’s not always the case.
Sometimes it’s unclear just what is “as big as,” “as much as,” “as good as,” etc. The first example, um, for example, says that this Black Friday will be at least “as big as” Cyber Monday was last year. But the intervening words, “if not more hyped and crowded,” distract a reader, who doesn’t yet know just what Black Friday is being compared to, or with. If a reader thinks it’s comparing Black Friday with another Black Friday, that distraction can cause that reader to have to back up and read the sentence again.
In the second example, the reader hears that Cronkite is “one of the greatest,” or possibly “the greatest.” But the greatest what? (After all, Muhammad Ali is “The Greatest.”) The reader has to wait to find out what Cronkite was so good at.
A good guideline for writing, regardless of form, is to complete one thought before starting another. Or, to practice what we preach: A good guideline for writing is to complete one thought before starting another, regardless of what form the writing is in.
That means if a comparison is being made, the reader needs to know what things are being compared before needing to know the depth, breadth, or scope of the comparison. In other words, finish the thought, adding the noun or phrase being compared to the first part of the phrase. Just take the part of the sentence after “if not more than,” (or its equivalent) and place it before that phrase.
To make it easier to read, our first example is better rendered as “Black Friday is coming! And this one will be as big as Cyber Monday was last year, if not more hyped and crowded.”
The Cronkite example is clearer it if it reads: “Walter Cronkite was regarded as one of the greatest anchors of his generation, if not the greatest.”
The longer the separation between the two things being compared, or the longer the distance between a modifier and the thing it modifies, the more chances there are that a reader will lose the thread and stop reading.
And you don’t want readers to stop reading any more than you want them lose the thread, if not more.

I'd take it even further, thus:
-- The first "as" is unnecessary (repetitive). Strike it or replace it with "so." (He is wise as his father. She is not so unwise as to sign the contract before reading it.)
Similarly:
-- "Why" should not follow "reason" when explaining the reason (why) something happened. Use "reason" or "why" but not "reason why."
-- Strike "or not" from the popular "whether or not." "Whether" conveys the yes-or-no choice, making the "or not" part understood.
#1 Posted by Dan A., CJR on Mon 21 Nov 2011 at 06:40 PM
He is ?just wise as his father.
http://motivatedgrammar.wordpress.com/2011/11/17/the-reason-why-theres-nothing-wrong/
[Both Google Books N-grams and the Corpus of Historical American English have the reason why being consistently more common than the reason that for the last 200 years. And the first example of the reason why in the Oxford English Dictionary dates back to 1533:
“He couth fynd na resson quhy he aucht nocht to helpe þe romane pepill to recovir þe land.”]
The "reason why" also has a nice rhetorical edge, as in lyrics.
http://www.pearsonlongman.com/ae/azar/grammar_ex/message_board/archive/articles/00095.htm
[The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage (Random House, 1999, p.355) says that “when a whether clause modifies a verb, or not is needed:
They’ll play tomorrow whether or not it rains...].
#2 Posted by Clayton Burns, CJR on Mon 21 Nov 2011 at 08:11 PM
Yes, Clayton. You can pick your style guides and stick with their suggestions. You're not necessarily wrong for using the "more common" styles, even if they're clumsy or repetitive. ( :
#3 Posted by Dan A., CJR on Tue 22 Nov 2011 at 02:48 AM
He is ?just wise as his father.
No comment, Dan A.?
#4 Posted by Clayton Burns, CJR on Tue 22 Nov 2011 at 01:53 PM
"He is ?just wise as his father.
"No comment, Dan A.?"
Sure, I have a comment.
Remove "?just" from that train wreck of a sentence.
Next?
#5 Posted by Dan A., CJR on Tue 22 Nov 2011 at 07:02 PM
Dan... Dan... Jack was precisely as wise as he was programmed to be.
Jack was exactly as wise as his father allowed him to be.
The place to study these structures is in the COBUILD English Grammar. They are explained in great detail there.
A good source for study of prepositional phrases is Hemingway's Nick Adams stories. Where in literature would we be able to find good examples of comparative phrases as explained by Merrill Perlman here?
#6 Posted by Clayton Burns, CJR on Tue 22 Nov 2011 at 09:04 PM
Now, boys, play nice! And Hemingway, as a former journalist, usually wrote more clearly and directly, if not more beautifully, than many journalists today.
#7 Posted by Language Corner, CJR on Wed 23 Nov 2011 at 07:21 AM
I suggest that there be a book of the week for discussion here at Language Corner. Edward mentioned "Words That Work," by Dr. Frank Luntz. I now have the book and I have started reading it.
Christopher Johnson's "Microstyle" would also be an excellent choice.
Before he died, the founding editor of COBUILD, John Sinclair, wrote to me that he was disappointed with the limited up take of COBUILD in the US. CJR could help correct that lapse by making the COBUILD English Grammar official for Language Corner. The Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English has an excellent CD, and would be a good choice for an official dictionary.
Journalists in the US do not understand the corpus revolution in linguistics. I can't say that they do elsewhere, either. So we end up all over the world having sterile debates about IELTS, when we should have international English tests based on corpus products instead.
The quite small section in literary theory and criticism at Chapters Robson in Vancouver has some excellent books that would fit in well with Language Corner's concerns. Hemingway, as usual, would be a focus.
#8 Posted by Clayton Burns, CJR on Thu 24 Nov 2011 at 11:46 AM