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From The Onion (or, is it?):
Citing a desire to gain influence in Washington, the American people confirmed Friday that they have hired high-powered D.C. lobbyist Jack Weldon of the firm Patton Boggs to help advance their agenda in Congress.
Weldon is reportedly charging the American people $795 an hour.
“Unlike R.J. Reynolds, Pfizer, or Bank of America, the U.S. populace lacks the access to public officials required to further its legislative goals,” a statement from the nation read in part. “Jack Weldon gives us that access.”
…
Sources confirmed that Weldon is already scheduled to have drinks Monday with several members of the Senate Appropriations Committee to discuss saving the middle class.
And, from the photo caption: “Weldon says he hopes to spin the American public… as a group worth Congress’ time.”
Ha. (h/t, Election Law Blog)
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